Had a moment...

I had a moment last night where I felt like I couldn’t make it. My heart hurt so badly and the tears flowed uncontrollably. I was alone and shaking. I think God for my Guardian Angel (Kali). If it was not for her I would have laid there all night beating myself up because I felt like I wasn’t good enough. Yes my relationship failed because I couldn’t give her what she needed 100% but I can’t carry that full burden around with me. It comes a time where you have to accept responsibility for your own actions. You can’t always blame other people for the position that you’re in. 9 times out of 10 you’re in a bad position because of the choices that you made. You can’t continue to treat people like they are just a tool to get to the next step in your life. One day you’re going to have to sit down and accept responsibility for what you have done to others. In your mind you are always right because you are honestly selfish. She said I never considered her feelings and what she was going through. If that was true I would have walked out the day she called me out my name. I wouldn’t have tried to fix everything that she had a problem with. I wouldn’t have held all my hurt in. I would have walked out the door the first time I packed my things. I listen to everything she had to say and God knows I tired. My best was never good enough and then caring all that pain around knowing I was working towards nothing made it even worst.  She walked out on me and left me with $4.00. It was mint to be an insult but honestly it was a lesson learned. My heart may never fully heal from this but it will teach me how to just be alone. That was the best advice I could have been given. I don’t need to have someone on my side to be completed. I can complete myself.